06
May 2016

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More than a few of you probably use The Real Housewives of Melbourne as a crucial procrastination tool. I know I do. Who can blame us? I certainly have a lot more fun hate-watching Lydia hate-watch Pettifleur try on every item of clothing in an opulent Dubai shopping mall than I do reading about the intricacies of making a statement of claim.

 

But if it makes you feel better (as it does for me), RHOM is not as removed from the legal world as the average non-believer might think. And we have Gina Liano to thank for that. After all, she deals with fact not friction. So who better to tell a tale quite familiar to law student: the tale of writing a law essay along with all its ups and downs.

 

1. When you read the essay question

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Like all law students, you're confident. You've been listening in lectures (mostly) and this sounds familiar. It's probably got something to do with that case, you know the one with the guy and the thing. As long as you read that case (or a summary of it), you should be sweet.

 

2. The initial consultation

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A law school assessment isn't quite complete (or even started, for that matter) without a complete dissection and examination by your cohort. Usually this takes place outside a lecture theatre or a tutorial classroom or even at the pub at the end of the day. Naturally, your confidence escalates a little bit. No one else picked up on the case with the guy and the thing. You've got this in the bag. 

3. The research begins, confidence builds

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You read the case with the guy and the thing. Bingo. At the rate, you're going, this essay isn't even going to throw you off your normal schedule.

 

4. Peaking!

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You've got your research mapped out, your essay planned, plenty of time to go before the deadline. No all-nighter in sight. You're pretty impressed with yourself, you always mean to do assessments like this. You might've had to wait an hour to watch the new Game of Thrones ep while you finished off an article but it'll make watching it all the sweeter (unless it's anything like the Red Wedding). You've earned a little break, right?

 

5. Above the hysteria

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Your peers are starting to panic. I mean really panic. Tom's been working every day for the last week and hasn't even started his research. Rachael doesn't even know how she's going to answer. You're above it all, though. After all, you know better than to leave it this late. 

 

6. YOU LEFT IT TOO LATE

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How did this happen? You planned and researched the whole thing? Doesn't that count for anything? Turns out that you got a little high and mighty about having done a little prep work and it's now the night before the essay is due. Smash a coffee, put on your favourite trackies. It's time to write. No, seriously, just write something.

 

7. Word count woes

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Alright so you've written something. Maybe a few too many somethings. What was the word count again? And how many words have you got. Whether it's too few or too many, it might be better not to look until you're finished. 

 

8. The tears

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You've possibly never cried like this in your lifes. Ok so the tears are internal. You can't waste the precious hydration after all. You've got to stay awake and alert for the next few hours. That referencing ain't gonna do itself. 

 

9. The airbrushing

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Ok so having not broken a sweat in front of your mates about this thing so far, you aren't about to start now! The time for trackies has come and gone (the referencing is done, after all). Take a shower (you smell). Wear something resembling an outfit (activewear doesn't count) and get your arse to uni. You're doing the victory lap now. 

 

10. The end

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The marks are in. You didn't top the cohort, but you certainly didn't fail. Count this one as a victory. You planned, researched and wrote this thing and got it in on time, which means it turned out better than you suspected the night before the essay was due. Cast your fears aside, you passed, it's over. And the marker even said it wasn't half bad!

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