It is with a heavy heart that I type this. After years of denial, I have to accept the truth: I have a problem. I am addicted to stationery.
That’s right. I, like thousands, of law students before me, have an insatiable urge to fill my life with the many colours, textures, sizes and uses that only stationery can give me.
I initially denied that I had a problem. I made excuses. ‘Oh, I need a new folder’ I’d say, conveniently forgetting the stack of empty ones at home. ‘Other people must love stationery too, right? Other people must surely have this much too!’ I’d tell myself.
But I was wrong. Oh so wrong. After journeying to Officeworks last week to buy printer ink ($40), I left $60 poorer. I had somehow justified the purchase of a mini garbage can for my desk (despite a perfectly good one already in my room), a purple Artline marker (because the three other purple markers I have apparently aren’t good enough) and a wall planner (okay, so I needed this to write my summer assignments on).
When I’m in my local Big W, I always manage to take a detour via the stationery section (the opposite side of the store to the photo lab), and gaze longingly at the many items. Last year, I spent $120 in Typo. I don’t even know how that is humanly possible. But evidently, it was, because my bank account started crying tears of bright, multi-coloured ink.
Recently, a Smiggle opened up in my local shopping centre. My boyfriend made it his sole purpose in life to divert me away from this for as long as humanly possible. When I finally got inside, I managed to leave empty handed (blame the boyfriend). He still says that this was his greatest life achievement.
Like any other law student, I love lists. So I have written a list of questions to test for stationery addiction:
You have more highlighters than textbooks. And that is saying a LOT, especially as you’re a few years into your degree.
You find yourself inexplicably organising things. Whether it’s putting highlighters in rainbow order, or separating the warm coloured highlighters from the cool colours, you do it.
Your ideal day would consist of visits to Officeworks, Typo and Smiggle, and an unlimited budget.
You can never have enough pens. Or markers. Or post its. Or highlighters. Oh, how you love highlighters.
You get genuinely excited about multi-packs of highlighters.
Come to think of it, you just love highlighters.
Pop up cardboard storage solutions are your kryptonite. In fact, you need bigger boxes and filing systems to store your pre-existing storage solutions in. Storage-ception.
You refuse to skimp-out on generic brand permanent markers like Skerples (that’s a real brand, by the way…)
You have a favourite type of pen and get genuinely freaked out if you lose it. I once trekked across campus to swap pens with a guy who had inadvertently taken my favourite pen. ‘You may take my BIC, but you will never take my PaperMate FlexGrip Ultra!’ (True story).
You’re a law student. Admit it. You’re just as obsessed with stationery as the rest of us.
If you answered yes to any of the above, you have a stationery addiction. If you answered no, you’re probably just in denial…
Do you want to come pen shopping with me?
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