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Working Hardly: What Would Denny Crane Do?


Denny Crane meme

Denny Crane! Rich, famous, powerful. Always offering reasonable doubt for a reasonable price.

So many of life’s problems can be solved by simply asking ourselves, “What Would Denny Crane Do?” Whether you’ve got a difficult problem solving question or find yourself working on a tricky case at work, you can always rely on the wisdom of Boston Legal’s top lawyer to guide you in the right direction (or at least make you laugh)...

1. First, know the fundamentals of justice

“Whatever it is, I’m innocent.”

“Soul, that's a religious thing. State... church... it's unconstitutional for the United States to have a soul.”

2. Build your case and some client confidence

“First rule of thumb in practicing law: always, always promise the client millions and millions of dollars. It's good business.”

“Of course we believe you. We even believe the part about the car being stolen. We believe it all, Ronald. That's why you pay us.”

3. Talk yourself up some more

“There's a difference in being an ass and being effective. When you win, they say you're effective. When you lose, which I never do, they call you an ass.”

4. Know the facts

“It's as simple as this. You don't get on the stand and say, 'I'm sorry for not doing the right thing.' You testify, 'I did the right thing!' That's how you win lawsuits. You're right! Even when you're wrong.”

5. Keep an eye on your client while at court

“I misplaced a client once...I made sure to ship him off to some country with no extradition -- South America. He sends me Feliz Cumpleaños cards every year.”

6. Get on top of procedural matters

“Judge. You're old. I'm old. Lock and load. Before we're dead.”

“Waive reading Judge. And ask that these ridiculous charges be dismissed on the grounds of ridiculousness.”

7. Run an impressive case with a good argument, a twist and tight conclusion

“A man arrested for defending his own house. It's a farce. Not the funny kind. This is one serious farce.”

“Last name: Crane. First name: Denny. Not guilty. Over and out.”

8. And most importantly…

“If all else fails and you think you've lost... pretend you've won!”

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